SCENE I
BEGINNINGS / dialogue made par RZ and PLV / translator : MG
Three characters Fergie, Vlăduţ, The Notary.
Casting - Fertea Beatrice (Fergie) - Moldovan Alex (Vlăduţ) - Gavril Andrei Rareş (le Notaire)
A very simple apartment in London.
Beginning of the scene in the dark. Fergie Murray enters (we do not see her but we hear her walking). She turns on the light.
We discover Vlăduţ lying on a sofa. He stands up like a vampire, his arms stiff, his eyes blinking ...
Vlăduţ (shielding himself from the light, he groans): Turn off the light! Why do you always do that? You want to kill me or what?
Fergie (surprised): But, are you there Vlăduţ? How can I guess you're here, darling? Always shut the shutters and live in the dark like a bat! You should not stay in the living room to sleep in the middle of the day ....
(addressing the public and herself): Ah! I'm sick of this husband! Being a couch-potato all day long and frightened by the sun. It is beautiful, I swear, the life of Madame Fergie Murray. Ok, calm down Fergie, you have bad news to announce, so do not challenge your husband ...
Vlăduţ: You call me a bat? I'm not a bat, thank you! You know that I do not want to live in the dark, it's because of my illness.
Fergie (sighing): But what sickness, my heart? I'm sure it's a psychological one. If you wanted to listen to me, you'd make a little effort and take a holiday with me somewhere in a sunny place. Imagine darling, this blonde whom you love. (with a wink) suntanned, you'd love me even more!
Vlăduţ: Stop, Fergie, you're not a doctor. My photophobia and my agoraphobia do not allow me to take the risk of travelling ... not to mention my chronic anemia and my somnambulism crises! The Doctor told me not to take any risks, you know. Bring me a drink instead, that would be nice ... I'm so thirsty.
Fergie (sighing again): A glass of what?
(talking to the public): He makes me mad, always listening to these decayed old doctors, rather than his legitimate wife!
Vlăduţ; Whatever, Martini, Cabernet ... something red. Quickly, please, I'm so thirsty.
Fergie: I got it, I understood, but don’t you keep saying the same thing. You worry me, my Vladie .... I'm afraid you will become an alcoholic.
(talking to the public) Sometimes I'm even afraid that he will take drugs, it would explain many things. My God ! I do not dare ask him the question directly, not to mention the doctor, what would he think of that?).
Vlăduţ: You always make a big fuss out of nothing! A little glass of red beverage from time to time, it does not hurt anyone. Besides, it's not alcohol I want. No beer, no Champagne .... I do not know why, but it must be red.
Fergie (bringing a glass): Here's your glass. Look, we're not going to argue today. I know you need a comeback. Thing are not going well for the two of us right now. We do not have a job, neither you nor I: they don’t need a night watchman in London, with all these lights, and it’s everything you know to scrape your living. We must adapt to modern times, Vladie, say that it ‘s electricity to blame for all this ... ..
Vlăduţ: And you, how come you never keep your jobs?
Fergie: You know school has never been a strength of mine! It's still not my fault if I was not good at school. Listen, listen! Listen, listen! Listen, listen! (she raises her arms in the air) All this nonsense is not important ... I have good news for you. We will finally be able to start our lives anew and enjoy it together!
Vlăduţ: But what are you talking about? You won the lottery?
Fergie: Better than that Mr Vlad Murray. I got a phone call from the notary. Your mother's brother is dead ....
Vlăduţ; Indeed, it is good news, the death of my uncle! You are merciless.
Fergie: You know what I mean. The inheritance will save us. I can not stand this non-life! This city, this rain, you who never want to leave this shabby flat that you can not even afford. I dream of travelling and discovering the world ... (suddenly coquette) Don’t you think we would make a nice couple of tourists? And then it would make you meet people, maybe people like you. I would not mind living in the night-time unless we were neither poor nor alone. (the doorbell rings, Fergie is on the verge of opening while continuing to explain to her husband) A castle in Romania, this does not take a no for an answer. You can always resell it, the crisis is over.
Vlăduţ (stunned): A castle in Romania?
The Notary (entering with a well-determined attitude): Good morning Mr. Murray! Let me introduce myself, Iulian Popescu, notary in Cluj-Napoca, in Transylvania. I completed managing the estate of Mr your deceased uncle. Congratulations ! I have tons of papers for you to sign! (then, taking a look at the flat and Vlăduţ). You are fine ? You seem to be depressed. Take a bit of courage! This item of bad news must not overwhelm you, see the good side of things, this castle and the surrounding lands represent an exceptional potential. It is imperative that you see this, you will be excited!
Vlăduţ (stunned): But I do not want to go to Romania. I know them too well, the Romanians: gypsies, thieves, criminals. Untouchable! (thinking suddenly) I do not say that for you, of course, Mr Notary ...
The Notary: too kind, really!
(to the public) This is what the Romanians get like abroad: they forget their homeland, they denigrate their country. We can not say, however, that this Vlăduţ is very prosperous, nor does it make him a very well- integrated British!
(to Vlad:) Mr Murray, you MUST go to Romania. It is an obligation you need to fulfil.
Fergie: You do not understand, my darling. It is your uncle's only whim: in his will he demands that you go to the castle to acquire your inheritance. Say yes, say yes, say yes! please ! (hopping instantly)
Vlăduţ: No, no, I'm afraid of flying...that’s out of the question.